Wondering what to do…

I know it has been forever since the last time I’ve posted something, but I had a lot going on !

Indeed, after dropping law school I came back home. At first it was a relief. I was home again, with my family, and I needed them more than ever. I won’t talk about what happened in my life, and why I left my apartment and ditched law school. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I am a super active person, I can’t just seat and wait. But coming back home also meant leaving my friends, and eventually my social life.

My parents live in the country, and I am a city girl. So at first it was like during holidays, I woke up without an alarm, I wasn’t wearing any make up… But after a few days it didn’t felt like holidays anymore. I was bored, just bored. Time was passing by sooooo slowly !! I am the kind of person who likes to read, to learn, and I was there, alone in my room, waiting. Waiting for what ? For the day to end. Then each day started to look alike, I was so confused that I didn’t know if we ere Monday or Thursday… And loneliness, I think it’s the worse part. My parents at work, my brothers at school, and me… Just here, sitting, alone, waiting…

So I decided that I couldn’t take it anymore ! I’ve been searching for days and days what I could do, and I found a school in Bordeaux, my city of adoption. I went to that school to meet students and teachers and I fell in love with the place ! But it is a private school so I had to pass a test. So I applied for that test, passed it on January, anddddd on February they sent me an email telling me that I’ve succeeded the test (  my results are very good by the way haha ). I was so proud of myself, so were my parents. But classes start on October, and were are in March. The euphoria fade away, and doubt came back. I have no idea of what I am going to do until October. I’ve sent tones of resumes, searched for all type of jobs, but nothing came out of it… I am starting to be desperate again… And alone.

I really wanted to share this episode of my life because it’s the worse time I’ve ever lived, and I thought it was important to talk about the harsh reality of life instead of talking about fashion. Life is not easy, everything can’t be exiting all the time, but I just want to see the end of this loneliness and this boredom. I won’t let myself down, I will fight till I find something to do with my life. I refuse to be destroyed by fate. I know who I am, who I want to be, and I will do everything in my power to raise and shine.

Living is about surviving, and I am a survivor, a warrior. We all are. So now I am going to put myself together and become the person I am meant to be.


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